Watch Two and a Half Men Online

TV-14 CBS 22m 2003 7.1

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Two and a Half Men

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.


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Genres: Comedy, Romance

Stars: Jon Cryer Angus T. Jones Conchata Ferrell Charlie Sheen

Creators: Lee Aronsohn Chuck Lorre

Two and a Half Men Full Episodes

S9 E1: Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

Aired: September 19th, 2011 @ 8:00 PM CST

Alan and Jake meet Walden Schmidt, a broken-hearted billionaire.


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S9 E2: People Who Love Peepholes

Aired: September 26th, 2011 @ 8:00 PM CST

Walden deals with his ex-wife, Bridget.


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S9 E3: Big Girls Don't Throw Food

Aired: October 3rd, 2011 @ 8:00 PM CST

Alan prepares Walden for a date with Bridget, while Jake decides to emulate Walden and drop out of school.


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S9 E4: Nine Magic Fingers

Aired: October 10th, 2011 @ 8:00 PM CST

Walden goes looking for Mrs. Right while Alan has an opportunity to reconcile with Lyndsey.


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S9 E5: A Giant Cat Holding a Churro

Aired: October 17th, 2011 @ 8:00 PM CST

Alan has trouble accepting Lyndsey's seedy movie past, and Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing a party.


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S9 E6: The Squat and the Hover

Aired: October 24th, 2011 @ 8:00 PM CST

Walden receives divorce papers from Bridget, but forgets his depression when he meets a girl who looks eerily like her.


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S9 E7: Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

Aired: October 31st, 2011 @ 8:00 PM CST

Jake has a crush on his chemistry tutor, who has a crush on Walden. Meanwhile, Alan obsesses over the journal his brother left him in his will.


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S9 E8: Thank You for the Intercourse

Aired: November 7th, 2011 @ 8:00 PM CST

When Walden begins redecorating the beach house, Alan becomes overly emotional.


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S9 E9: Frodo's Headshots

Aired: November 14th, 2011 @ 8:00 PM CST

Upon his release from the hospital, Alan is met with a slew of challenges that test his ability to cope.


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S9 E10: A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes

Aired: November 21st, 2011 @ 8:00 PM CST

Walden hits it off with a British babe, but neither of them is sure he's ready to re-enter the dating world.


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S9 E11: What a Lovely Landing Strip

Aired: December 5th, 2011 @ 8:00 PM CST

Walden is trying his best to impress his new love interest when Bridget reappears in his life.


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S9 E12: One False Move, Zimbabwe!

Aired: December 12th, 2011 @ 8:00 PM CST

Walden's mother arrives and Alan is smitten with her, even as she reveals a secret about Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.


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S9 E13: Slowly and in a Circular Fashion

Aired: January 2nd, 2012 @ 8:00 PM CST

Walden’s ex-wife and mother try to take control of his company, so he turns to Alan for help.


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S9 E14: A Possum On Chemo

Aired: January 16th, 2012 @ 8:00 PM CST

Zoey tries to convince Walden to cut his hair and shave; Alan and Lyndsey revive their relationship.


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S9 E15: The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack

Aired: February 6th, 2012 @ 8:00 PM CST

Walden tries to loosen Zooey up by sharing some of Berta's special brownies.


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S9 E16: Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy

Aired: February 13th, 2012 @ 8:00 PM CST

When a huge storm keeps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lindsay at home on Valentine's Day, conflict brews and relationships are strained.


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S9 E17: Not in My Mouth!

Aired: February 20th, 2012 @ 8:00 PM CST

A near-death experience has an adverse effect on Zoey and Walden's relationship; Alan thinks Lyndsey may have a drinking problem.


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S9 E18: The War Against Gingivitis

Aired: February 27th, 2012 @ 8:00 PM CST

Walden's ex-business partner shows up at the beach house looking to make peace.


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S9 E19: Palmdale, Ech

Aired: March 19th, 2012 @ 8:00 PM CST

Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers. Jake and Eldridge get a ride from Walden to a party.


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S9 E20: Grandma's Pie

Aired: April 9th, 2012 @ 8:00 PM CST

Walden breaks the news to Zoey that he is going into business with his ex-wife. Alan and Lyndsey try to cope with their mom's relationship.


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S9 E21: Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'

Aired: April 16th, 2012 @ 8:00 PM CST

Zoey and her daughter move in with Walden; Alan gets more than he bargained for with Lyndsey.


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S9 E22: Why We Gave Up Women

Aired: April 30th, 2012 @ 8:00 PM CST

Charlie's ghost pays a visit to Alan after he suffers a minor heart attack.


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S9 E23: The Straw in My Donut Hole

Aired: May 7th, 2012 @ 8:00 PM CST

Zoey isn't convinced Alan deserves all the love and affection he receives upon his return from the hospital.


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S9 E24: Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

Aired: May 14th, 2012 @ 8:00 PM CST

Jake graduates and must decide what to do with his life.


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